Travail
by sevEnteenGRaMmArlYMistakeS
Summary: One-shot with Mythbusters, implied Dramione and implied side pairing Blaise and Ginny at the end. Rated T for language.


Travail (Work (French))

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the TV show Mythbusters.

If you don't know what Mythbusters do, check out one of their clips on Youtube. They're really good!

Also, I changed the ages around a little, so Harry's year went to Hogwarts later and thus they are only 25 in 2011.

* * *

 _ **7/6/11**_

* * *

Dear Father,

Surely, by now, you would have noticed my absence from Malfoy Manor. I'm sure you will not, but do not worry. A week ago, I saw a job application that appealed to my interests. I have since then been working for a group named Mythbusters. They recreate common myths to see if they are true or not. My job is not something that concerns you.

Yours Faithfully,

Draco Abraxas Malfoy

* * *

 _ **8/6/11**_

* * *

Yo Draco,

You up for a drink tomorrow evening? You'll see my girlfriend.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

I can't. I've got work tomorrow. Besides, what are the chances of Blaise Zabini, second most eligible bachelor, having a girlfriend? She'll be gone by the weekend.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Oh my, the mighty Draco Malfoy has to work? I never thought I'd see the day. Besides, my girlfriend will NOT be gone by the weekend. And didn't you earn a reputation for being top of that list AND the one about playboys?

Blaise (Your very pissed off friend)

* * *

Blaise,

Yes, the mighty Draco has to work. And yes, she WILL be gone by the weekend. I'm not going to reply to the last two statements.

 _"The Mighty Draco"_

* * *

Draco,

What's this job about?

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

I've sent the job information together with this. I wonder what my new colleagues are like; I'll see them tomorrow.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

I'll, um, just let you sleep then...If I'm not wrong, your job starts at 6? It's nearly 11, besides. I think I should sleep too. How did you even read that complicated bit of nonsense? So much legal...shmuck.

 _"Confused Blaise"_

* * *

Blaise,

Remember my NEWT score? Or even my OWLs?

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Oh yeah! Those were hilarious. You were always so near, yet so far.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

I'm sure that it matters now. Goodnight

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Night.

Blaise

* * *

Hermione,

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared for tomorrow. I can't sleep! What do you think is going to happen? We have a new colleague, right? And. I've had a lot of trouble with Harry recently. You and Ron...I just thought you'd have some advice? How are you holding up? Aside from the signing up a few weeks ago, I haven't talked to you! What have you been doing? How are you? How's Ron?

Ginny

* * *

Ginny,

Oh, I haven't talked to you in ages! Yes, that's absolutely right. I'm great! Just got a job with the ministry of magic, in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. It's a brilliant position, as this will further S.P.E.W! Gin, I'm sorry, I really can't help you with Harry. I tried with Ron, but eventually, we just broke up again, so any advice I give to you wouldn't really help. Yes, we just broke up. Don't talk too much about it. Harry is...temperamental, but he has patience. Talk to him about it. That's what helped during the war. In that time, focus on other stuff. For example, tomorrow! I'm sure you'll be fine tomorrow. Besides, I'll be there too! The ministry job is part time so I'll always be there. See you tomorrow!

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

I'm sorry for bothering you. Thanks for the advice! I'll see you tomorrow.

Ginny

* * *

Ginny,

It was nothing. It's what friends do, right? Goodnight!

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

Night!

Ginny

* * *

 _ **9/6/11**_

* * *

Blaise,

Guess who my colleagues are.

Draco, your regular annoyed employee

* * *

Draco,

The Golden Trio? Bro drinks on Sunday ok?

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

With a side order of the Weasley girl. Yes, drinks on Sunday, probably not with your girlfriend.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Woah, dude, I was joking! Are you sure? Oh no. You're going to be in a bad mood for the rest of my letters today. Ok. I'll see you at the Three Broomsticks 8 a.m. on Sunday. Don't be late! And you will definitely see my girlfriend there. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

I'm not joking. I would resign, but then they would have already won. Granger's already been in my face. _"Malfoy you're doing it completely wrong; Malfoy I should know, I'm smarter than you; Oh really Malfoy if you're so smart, tomorrow bring your NEWT results and we'll see who's smarter!"_ I swear she's almost as arrogant as I am. And that's saying something. I hate listening to her voice. It's just so...patronising! I feel like I wasn't so much patronising as sarcastic when I was in school. Was I? Well, we will see who comes out the victor tomorrow.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Dude, you finally admitted it! Yes, you were arrogant, certainly in a more sarcastic way. But I have to agree with you there. If what you really quoted was right, then Granger is more arrogant than you. That is just...weird. The tables have been turned! I wonder if your NEWT results will be good enough to beat her. Your NEWT results were brilliant, but she HAS been called the brightest witch of her age. What about Potter and the Weasel? What insults have they thrown at you?

Blaise, who is currently rolling around the floor laughing.

* * *

Blaise,

I do wonder, indeed. I may be an arrogant prat, but even I will not dare to hope that I am smarter than the Gryffindor Princess herself. Potter and the Weaslette have been...surprisingly civil. Of course, I did not dare to hope that they would smile at me and wave hello, but they didn't throw as many petty insults as before. The claims were actually grounded, for one thing. It seems like our little Pot-Head has grown up! The Weasel, however, has not matured at all. Still saying stuff about that punch in third year, for example. Seriously, if he wanted to insult me, he should have just said something about the war, or my parents. If I didn't hate him so much, I would sit him down to teach him a little thing or two about sarcasm. I've got to eat, reply on Saturday. (Not later or tomorrow because I'm going to sleep really early today and tomorrow, I've got errands to run and work to do and no time to read or reply to your letters)

Draco, who is surprised with your long title and has just added an even longer one to his letter

* * *

Ginny,

I am so annoyed with that Malfoy! Saying that he is, in fact, smarter than me is complete and utter nonsense! It sounds extremely arrogant, I know that, but I do remember him being second to me in all the years we were at Hogwarts. Of course, I don't know his NEWT results or OWL results, but I'm pretty sure that his score wouldn't be higher than mine, based on observation. Besides, it's good for him to get a taste of his own medicine. He was always an arrogant, self-centred prat in school. I was so shocked when he arrived in the morning. I actually thought it was a mistake! The Malfoy fortune must be in serious trouble, for the great and mighty Malfoy to lower himself to work with such _"peasants"_. I may seem like I am trying to insult Malfoy a lot, but I am seriously annoyed with him. He wouldn't stop bragging and insulting my hair and clothes and who knows what else.

Ginny, could you at least come over tomorrow morning to fix my hair and clothes so that Malfoy would stop insulting them?

 _"Rather pissed off "_ Hermione

* * *

Hermione

Don't let him get you down! Remind yourself who you are. You're Hermione Granger, S.P.E.W leader, confident woman and an all 'round brilliant person. As Hagrid said, _" An' they haven't invented a spell our Hermione can't do."_ Hermione, lift your head high and unleash all the sass you possess on that Draco Malfoy! Eat some ice cream, watch some chick flick, whatever makes you forget about his antics! Besides, if Malfoy is insulting your clothes and hair, you shouldn't let him get to you. But lemme say, you do look like in serious need of a little pampering! I'll come over 7 a.m. tomorrow. It's not like you to swear, and I want the old Hermione back. Good night!

Oh, and I forgot. If a girl or a boy constantly talk about each other, it's a sign that they like each other.

Ginny

* * *

Ginny,

When you come over tomorrow, we're going to have a little talk. Good night, Gin

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

I am SLIGHTLY worried now. Good night!

Ginny

* * *

 _ **10/6/11**_

* * *

Ginny

I have no words.

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

You have to admit though, it WAS hilarious. 'Mione, you looked so shocked! If I'm honest, I was shocked too. Who would have thought? Draco Malfoy actually got a respectable NEWT score! In fact, it wasn't even respectable! HE GOT A HIGHER SCORE THAN YOU! How...interesting. I noticed him staring at you at lunch, by the way. Remember my last, last letter? I'm going to get hell for it on Sunday when we meet at the Three Broomsticks but...you know what they say about boys who stare? Draco Malfoy is interested in you, Hermione! And you gave him a compliment (albeit veiled in an insult). Love is in the air!

Ginny

* * *

Ginny,

You were right and wrong. Firstly, you said I was shocked at his NEWT results and gave him a veiled compliment. That is partly true. I was shocked, but I didn't compliment him. Secondly, you said that he was staring at me at lunch. That may be true. I wasn't paying attention. Lastly, we are definitely not in love. Gin, have you forgotten who he is? Death Eater, school bully and annoying git! Why would he like (I'm not going to say love) me, or vice versa? I was contemplating whether or not to send you a howler. I haven't sent one in my life yet. Don't let me down, Gin.

I'll meet you at the Three Broomsticks at 8. Are Harry and Ron coming?

Oh, and the last sentence of yours was terribly clichéd. Try better next time?

Hermione

* * *

Hermione,

I've never received a howler before in my life. It was mostly just Fred and George. And that spectacular one Ron got in Second year. I guess now is not the time to start. I'll stop...for now. And yes, Harry and Ron are coming. See you tomorrow!

Ginny

* * *

Ginny,

Yes. I'll be there.

Hermione

* * *

 _ **11/6/11**_

* * *

Draco,

GOOD MORNING DRAKE! Here's the reply you were too tired to want to receive the day before, and the one you were too busy to receive yesterday.

I wouldn't have expected the Weasel to grow up. Pot-Head was a surprise. Draco, beware. Soon you'll be coerced into the Gryffindor land of butterflies, ponies and foolish bravery. I can't lose you, Drake! What would I do without your constant sarcasm there? Don't be lured in!

On a less silly note, how have you been holding up? How's Narcissa? Is Lucius ok? Where's Pansy?

Blaise, who is also surprised by your title and is unrelenting in his quest to put an even longer title than yours on his letter.

* * *

Blaise,

I don't appreciate the name, Blaise. I swear, if I am compared to that muggle rapper ONE MORE TIME, you will be the one who will be shivering in the lion's den. It's not that the rapper is a muggle, of course, it's just that I don't like being compared to ANYONE. Got that?

Mum's fine. She bought a new house, actually. Lucius and Narcissa agreed that they'd rather live apart. The tension in the Manor between the two was tearing their relationship apart. She seems...happier, though, without Father's overbearing presence in her house. Mostly she's out, looking at fashion and interior design jobs. Yes, Mother's looking for a job. She said that it was extremely boring sitting in her house with nothing to do. I believe her exact words were _"I love my house, but even the tasteful design cannot save me from the perils of boredom. Draco, I'm looking for a job. Can you recommend anything?"_ So I recommended some stuff, but Mother being who she was, shot them down immediately. I glad that she's happy, though. She looks like a totally different person now. She smiles more, laughs more, and actually seems interested in things now.

I don't communicate with Father often. Rarely do I go to the Manor to chat with him. We mostly exchange letters, whilst I go over to Mother's house to talk to her. Lucius just...likes it that way, I guess. He managed to wrangle a job at the ministry. He's somehow head of Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes now. Not many people liked it, at first, but eventually, he rose up the ranks and his standing recovered by a bit. He spends his free time reading in the library, not that there are many books left there. I've mostly taken them. They're in my flat now. And before you ask, yes, there is a library in my flat. And yes, I have read all the books in my library. And no, I am not turning into Hermione Granger. I was always like that, remember?

Pansy is just as annoying and clingy as in our Hogwarts days. Mother keeps pushing her or Astoria towards me. Pretty they might be, but they aren't very intelligent. Besides, they're not my type. What about you, Blaise?

And bruh, It's 6 a.m.

Draco, who is not surprised by your sense of rather boyish rivalry and so will add the longest title to his letter because he is a proud and threatened Slytherin with jealousy issues

* * *

Draco,

Dude, I wasn't expecting an essay, but ok. Why are you so adverse to the rapper though? Listen to some of his songs more. I get that you don't like being compared to others, but I could be giving you a compliment by comparing you to a rich superstar!

Anyway, Mum's ok too. She's stopped killing her husbands, for one thing. Not that I wasn't happy with it, because they were all arseheads, but it means that she's actually found someone she's interested in and who she loves. They seem really loving toward each other and I'm happy for her. Finally, she's married a man who respects her for who she is. It's great. By the way, would you mind telling Narcissa that Mother's in England next week and would love to meet her sometime?

I'm not going to tell you about my girlfriend. You can wait till tomorrow to meet her.

Who cares if it's 6? Besides, why are YOU up at 6? I only dragged myself out of bed to annoy you with a really early letter, but obviously that backfired.

Blaise, who is also not surprised by your need to surpass and is going to beat you by adding the longest title to his letter because he is also a proud and threatened Slytherin who has a little less jealousy issues than his arrogant counterpart.

* * *

Blaise,

I'm up at six because I like to wake up early, and I wanted to go for a run. And you are arrogant too. Narcissa wants to meet your Mum at the really high-class restaurant on Diagon Alley next Thursday at 8 a.m.

Draco, who is not going to continue this stupid battle even though he has already made his title unwittingly long and has written it in indelible ink and does not want it to write the whole letter out again even though it is only about five lines long

* * *

Draco,

I swear, soon our titles will be twice as long as ALL of our letters. So, I'm going to write a really long title because I am a boy at heart. (Can it even be called a title?) Mother says that she'll be there. Honestly, why can't they just exchange addresses?

Blaise, who is a boy at heart and so will continue this pointless rivalry as best as he can, while he juggles all the perils of his VERY existent love life, sorts out work issues with his annoying boss and helps his friend with his troubles about love, work, friendship and life in general.

* * *

Blaise,

Well ok, just stop now? It was fun while it lasted. Your thingy (I'm not calling it a title anymore if it's not a valid word) is longer than the actual content of your letter. We are Slytherins so we have a predisposition to want to be better but this is an insignificant thing. I'm not over-reacting. Maybe I am, to you, but Granger is acting all pious again. Really messes with a guy's system, you know? Don't make this more complicated than it already is. I can't wait till Sunday, to be honest. I haven't seen the outside of a firewhiskey bottle in who knows how long. It would be a pleasure to get reacquainted with it again. And you'll be there to make sure I don't get trashed! What could beat that? I'm going to have to stop here. I've got to visit Lucius at the Manor for Breakfast in twenty minutes, and you know how he gets when owls interrupt him. And try to prank me, and I swear, the entire of the Malfoy fury will fall on your head. You've experienced it before, haven't you? I don't have to mention Fourth year again, do I?

Mother seems to enjoy us being mini messengers. She takes much pride in seeing us suffer. What a sadist.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Yes, Mr Malfoy. Or would you prefer a different name? Would the _"Great, Honourable Sir Malfoy"_ suffice? Note the sarcasm, Malfoy. Don't bring Fourth year up, please. And I do suspect she is one at heart.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

As much as I appreciate the names that you have coined for me, I, the _"Great, Honourable Sir Malfoy"_ would rather you don't use them. I would, of course, tell you to _"note the sarcasm"_ , but I'm sure that you are intelligent enough to pick it up. You obviously don't feel the same way. And rest assured, I will bring Fourth year up if I see any of your owls flying around the Manor.

Narcissa IS a sadist. It's the reason why Lucius hasn't killed her yet.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

If the last statement wasn't dark, I don't know what is. It's too early in the morning for this. Goodbye, dear friend. Don't let Lucius kill you, like he didn't with your mother.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

Adieu, cher ami. Je ne vous laissera pas tomber. Lucius n'émergera pas victorieux

Draco

* * *

Draco,

I'll just pretend that I understood what you just wrote. I get that you are fluent in French, but I'm not.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

You are a wizard, are you not? I have to go now. Don't reply until I give the all clear.

Draco

* * *

Blaise,

Hey. Lucius hasn't killed me yet. You can reply now.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

I don't understand. How is being a wizard going to help me to understand the French? And the thing we repeat with Lucius EVERY SINGLE TIME seems a little like an Auror operation. It is rather hilarious when you think about it. Have you listened to Drake yet?

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling, page 23 to 26. The index of root words at the back is also helpful. It tells you about the theory behind spells that interpret things. If you'd just look a little deeper, you'd find the translating spell: _"Ausdrücken Unterschiedlich"_ (Wand movement: swish, jab, flick). Trace your wand around the part you want to translate, perform the spell and the translation will appear above the original words.

It does seem like an Auror operation, but this is a perfectly valid threat we are dealing with. The wrath of a Malfoy is a wondrous yet extremely dangerous thing. Lucius doesn't want to give up his title as the Malfoy Patriarch yet. It feels good that he has to manage the family and do all the work, but I don't like him having control over my decisions in some sectors.

No, I have not listened to the Drake you speak of. Care to recommend any songs?

Draco

* * *

Draco,

I still don't get it. I've looked it up, but no-where in those pages does it tell you neither the spell nor how to perform it. I tried the spell, though. Took me a while, but I got it! What's the translation? I want to know the exact words so I can see how spot on my spell was.

I guess you are right. I saw your father once, during the war, while he was torturing a muggle-born. He looked deranged, mad even. The accuracy and power behind his spells were terrifying. I'm sorry for bringing up the war, but it had to be done.

Draco, no one likes to have someone controlling his or her decisions.

Pretty much anything from Drake's _"Thank Me Later"_ debut album is brilliant. _"Moment 4 Life"_ , which features one of his co-artists, Nicki Minaj is great too. It's on her album, _"Pink Friday"._ You know, you should really listen to some more muggle stuff. Some of the songs really suit you. Check out _"Sexyback"_ by Justin Timberlake. I think it will really bring out the arrogance in you. (Not like it isn't out already)

Blaise, your favourite music guru.

* * *

Blaise,

I never said the book would tell you the specific spell or how to perform it. I thought you were a Slytherin, Blaise. Don't you know what reading in-between the lines means? The pages only give you an idea of how to create an interpreting spell. I said look deeper. Blaise, get your highlighter out. Underline line 30 of page 23 and the table on page 24. Line 30 on page 23 tells you that you can combine certain wand movements with certain magical root words (deriving mostly from Latin, French or Germanic origin, depending on the word) to form new spells. The table on page 24 tells you the wand movements that correspond to your action. For example, the swish action signifies lifting. In the translation spell, you are using the swish action to "lift" up from the text the sections you need to be translated for the spell to do its work. The flick makes things move. The flick movement "moves" the words and letters around into a different order, so creating the physical form of the translation shown to you. The jab is used in recognition spells as well, like _"Homenum Revelio"_ and _"Specialis Revelio"_. It recognises things, thus you use it in the spell to recognise the language you are translating to and from. (How the action knows you want the words translated into English is extremely high-level magical theory and so is not covered in this book. However, if you are interested, I can lend you some of my books.) Finally, you use the root words to form the spell, which will bring all of the wand actions together to complete the spell.

The key root word index includes words such as reveal, presence, colour and sleep. They are selected based on what words spells would need and are ranked by order of importance and relativity. This particular book updates every few years to make sure that the root word section is in accordance with the times, so I do hope you have the newest version, Blaise. If not, I'm sure the local Library will have it. Anyway, I looked for the word _"translate"_ , but it wasn't in that copy or the ones preceding it. When that happens, you will have to get out your dictionary and find the definition of the word. Then, you will have to rephrase the definition to just a few keywords. I got _"Express differently"_. Those two words were in the index, and they were of Germanic origin *****. All you have to do now is to translate the two words into German and then put them together. However, if your translation is incorrect, your spell will not be correct. Now you get why Mother got those tutors to teach me Latin, German and French?

I'm sorry if I bored you to death. Maybe next time that won't happen, if you actually decide to look with those big eyes. You keep saying that they are your best feature, so why don't you actually use them for once?

The translation is: _"Farewell, dear friend. I won't let you down. Lucius will not emerge victorious"_

I haven't listened to your recommendations yet. I will by tomorrow though, so we can talk about it then.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Are you sure you are Draco Malfoy? I could have thought you were Hermione Granger for a second! You know, seeing your reflections on her really makes me think, wow, you are so compatible! You guys should really hook up.

I would brag that I cast the spell spot on, but then you would counter that by saying that you invented the spell in the first place so I'm not gonna bother.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

We've been through this many times. In school, at home, on holiday, via. letter, I'm bored of this. Please stop? Granger and I may be compatible in your mind, but we are never ever hooking up.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Mate, you need to learn how to take a joke! No, but really, thanks for the info. I won't check out those books, because I'm not a swot like you or Granger, but that helped. Why didn't you become a Professor? You'd have been good at it. Well done for being able to write a letter so fast...Is Magical Theory the only thing you know?

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

I'm sure. I won't take offence at your next crappy joke then. You're welcome for the info. It's been absolutely ages since I've had to explain something to someone, so it was great practice. Thanks, mate. I didn't become a professor because I don't like little kids. Besides, who would want to be taught by big, bad, death-eater Malfoy? Don't get all protective over me now. It was a joke, Blaise! On a lighter note, no, I do not just know Magical Theory. I'm not bad at potions; I've not yet forgotten the complete History of Magic my mother drilled into my head when I was 9; I can identify all the constellations and stars because I had so much free time when I was younger; I was taught by Lord Voldemort himself and so am better than Lucius in the Dark Arts; I had higher Transfiguration and Charms marks in all the years at Hogwarts than Granger and due to my language background, Ancient Runes isn't as hard for me as for some others. Does knowing all there is to know about Malfoy Manor also count? I suck at pretty much all the rest of the subjects. I can't stand Herbology, and Divination just relies too much on chance for me to feel safe when actually depending on it. I've never done Arithmancy at Hogwarts, but Mother, in the true spirit of the Malfoys, made me learn it. I got back into it recently, and have been expanding my knowledge with my library. It's really quite interesting.

What about your talents? I haven't really remembered much on your academic abilities at Hogwarts.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

So...do you like divination or not? I was never as good academically as you in Hogwarts, but you have to admit, I did always beat you in that subject. I swear, had your Father not expressed his concern over you quitting (and here I emphasise concern) that subject, you would have committed a Granger. I guess some people just don't have the sight.

I am slightly shocked and surprised over one of the sentences you typed in your letter. How did you make it so incredibly long? Are you Jane Austen in disguise? At least I could understand it. Man, Drake, so many different occupations you could have gone for and you chose this Mythbusters shizeroo...Let down, mate. Let down. But anyway, I guess I wasn't bad at Charms. Ok at Transfiguration, slightly better at Potions than at Transfiguration and better than you at Divination. Astrology was hard, History of Magic was boring and Care of Magical Creatures was terrible. I couldn't make out what he was saying! It was funny though, when you got mauled by the Hippogriff. Man, what a fuss. True, the cut was rather deep, maybe a centimetre, but for normal Magical Creature injuries, it rather tame. I guess Granger and you both had reason to be annoyed.

I need to scram. Mother is conducting some spring-cleaning. I'll answer in like an hour.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

Good luck with that. I remember that time during the holidays when she saw our shared room and went ballistic. It was HILARIOUS.

Can you use people's names as a phrase? And who gave you permission to make up words? You are not Shakespeare, Blaise. I swear "committed a Granger" is not a valid English phrase, nor is "shizeroo" a valid English word. That is valid enough reason for me to write an extremely long sentence.

There's nothing wrong with my job. You can't say anything, you don't even have a job!

No, Blaise, the person writing this letter is wholly Draco Malfoy. 100% Draco Malfoy. The same arrogant git you roomed with for 7 years. The number of times you have managed to call me an imposter is simply unbelievable. Dude, you have some serious trust issues and yet, I've spent some days just writing to you. Like today. And you call me a bad friend.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Sorry for the late reply. You know how Mother gets. She says one hour, then somehow manages to find even more stuff to clean. And somehow, your _"good luck"_ didn't do much. As usual.

It doesn't matter what I do to the English language. It's already messed up. Besides, you sound like Granger. And that's not something you want, is it? After all, opposites attract, not carbon copies.

It's, true, I don't have a job. But you do, and that's plenty enough for me to tease you over.

Dude, I have trust issues? Well, I'm not gonna say I don't have any, but doesn't everybody? Besides, you can't blame me for being suspicious, not after the war. And I've spent days replying to you too.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

I think it's evident that it is useless to try to reason with you, Blaise. You do what you want to do and don't give a flying rat what anyone thinks, and that is simply infuriating. I have laid all of my evidence there already, and you blow it off just because the information is not in your favour. You're so petty, Blaise. But that's alright. I am too. As you consistently point out every time we meet up, I still hold a stupid grudge on Hermione Granger because...Third Year. It hurts to even write it down.

So what did Mrs Zabini make you do? I'm sure my _"good luck"_ didn't work. It's kinda hard for wishes to work when the wisher doesn't mean it.

Blaise, teasing me about Granger is going to aggravate my feud even more, and that _"isn't what you want, is it"_? You really should brush up on your matchmaking skills.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Why, I didn't know you had set up a psychiatric clinic! You know, it really amazes me how many jobs could have been open to you, had you just said yes.

It hurts you to think of Granger? Maybe because you think that she'll reject you when you ask you out! The thought must be in your mind quite often if the simple thought of Granger can cause you pain. How interesting. More food for thought. More information to help me get you two together. It really doesn't matter how bad my skills are though, because you guys are already in love. A gentle push is all you guys need.

Mother made me do all the heavy lifting, really. Father did some but I did the most. At first, I escaped having to clean my room, but then Mother realised that I had a room in the Manor and went to _"check it out"_ , so to speak. That resulted in her screaming and running to clean up the mess. But really, what else did you expect?

I've got to attend dinner. Reply soon?

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

We can continue this tomorrow. See you there, bro.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

I'll be there, to do nothing but talk your head off about Granger.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

You talk so much about Granger, it's probable that you like her yourself.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Yes, but I'm giving her up for you, see?

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

You are definitely joking. Thus, there is no reason to talk to you anymore.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Fine. Have it your way.

Blaise

* * *

 _ **12/6/11**_

* * *

Blaise,

Hah! I was right! Your girlfriend broke up with you on Sunday! AYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Take to mind, Blaise. You can never beat Draco Malfoy's relationship skills.

Draco

* * *

Draco,

Whatever. You were right, but at least I got you a new girlfriend. And I got one in return. Thanks, mate.

Blaise

* * *

Blaise,

My matchmaking skills are unbeatable. You're welcome. And goodbye, because Lucius has requested yet another meeting in the Manor in five. RUN FOR COVER!

Draco

* * *

Ron,

Did you see Hermione kiss Malfoy? That was incredibly weird. Why did you hold me back, Ron? It's Malfoy! But I have to say, that was one heated kiss. And Ginny and Blaise too! I guess we're single again. Who to get, Ron?

Harry

* * *

Harry,

You never saw the tension between the two couples? I say let them have it. After all, it's not like we're gonna give them something like that, is it? And what were Malfoy and Zabini talking about? Nicki Manaj and Justin Tumberlake, or something like that. What is it?

Ron

* * *

Ron,

Hear all, hear all, come get the latest story! One-third of the Golden Trio, brilliant keeper and all 'round protective dude, Ron Weasley, has matured! Nearly a decade later, the magnificent Weasley has finally discovered the golden ticket called maturity!

Oh, and it's not a _"What"_ , it's a _"who"_. Nicki Minaj and Justin Timberlake are two famous muggle people, the first being a rapper and the latter being a singer songwriter.

Harry

* * *

Harry,

What's a golden ticket?

Ron

* * *

This is what happens when your dreams are too rooted in a fandom :)

 ***** I am aware that some of this is not correct (the word origin part) , but I had to tweak it because finding an accurate latin translator is a pain. I used collins dictionary for all the translations.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you'll point out my endless mistakes somehow.

Word count:5731


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